Football fines list

A fines kitty turns the things everyone moans about, like the late arrival, the missed open goal or the 40 unread messages, into a running joke that pays for the end-of-season night. These are fines that work for a weekly kickabout or a Sunday league side, and how to run them without anyone getting fed up.

By Squadcard. Last updated 23 October 2026.

In short

Keep fines small, the same for everyone, and agreed before anyone gets fined.
Fine things people can help: turning up late, forgetting the bibs, the open-goal miss.
Never fine anyone for being injured, ill or needed at home, and go easy on new players.
One person keeps the kitty and posts the total in the group chat.
Spend it on the group: the awards night, a new ball or the bibs.

Turning up

Most fines in a weekly game are about getting there. They're also the ones that make the game run better:

Late to kick-off: the classic. Agree what counts as late, five minutes is usual.
Said you were in, didn't show: the biggest fine on the list, because it leaves a team a player short.
Dropped out on the day: smaller than a no-show, but someone still had to find a replacement.
Forgot the bibs, the ball or the pump, when it was your turn to bring them.
Wrong kit: wearing the colour of the other team, or no shin pads where the venue asks for them.
Car park excuse: a fine for any excuse involving traffic, parking or the sat nav.
Left before the end, unless you warned everyone first.

On the pitch

The fun ones. Keep them about moments everyone saw, not about how good someone is:

Own goal.
Missing an open goal, judged by the group.
Missing a penalty, or a penalty in a shootout.
Getting nutmegged.
Ball over the fence or onto the roof: whoever kicked it, fetches it and pays.
The dive: any fall that would have earned a yellow card for simulation.
Hitting the post with a shot from a yard out.
Back-heel that went wrong, or any skill that ended with the other team scoring.
Shooting from your own half and missing the pitch.
Ball over head height, where your pitch has a head-height rule.
Losing your temper with your own team.

In the group chat

Running the game happens in the group chat, so some fines belong there:

Not answering whether you're in by the deadline.
Asking what time kick-off is when it's been the same for a year.
Saying you're in, then "maybe", then out.
Posting the result before the organiser does.
Leaving the chat after a bad game.

Off the pitch

New boots: a fine for any new boots, doubled if they're bright.
Kit crime: socks, headbands or shorts the group has to talk about.
Missing the pitch money payment by the deadline.
Bringing a mate who turns out to be much better than everyone was told.
Celebrating a goal in a way that needs explaining.
Turning up still feeling the night before, and playing like it.
Taking a phone call in the middle of the game.

How to run the kitty

Fines only work while everyone thinks they're fair. A few rules that keep it that way:

Agree the list first, in the group chat, and pin it. Nobody gets fined for a rule they hadn't seen.
Keep amounts small, like 50p or £1, with the no-show fine the biggest. Nobody should think twice about paying.
One person keeps the kitty. They post the total after each game, so everyone can see where it's going.
Pay at the next game, or with the pitch money, whatever's easiest.
Set a weekly cap, so one bad night can't cost anyone a fortune.
No fines for things people can't help: injury, illness, a family emergency or work.
Give new players a few weeks before any fines, and never fine anyone who's only playing once.
Not for kids' teams: fines are for adults who've agreed to them.

What to spend it on

Spend it on the group, and say so at the start. Most kitties pay for the end-of-season night and the trophies: there are plenty of ideas in end-of-season football awards. Others pay for a new ball, a set of bibs, or a week's pitch hire for the whole group.

Keeping the money side simple

Fines are easier when the pitch money is already sorted. The guide to collecting pitch money covers getting paid without chasing anyone. In Squadcard, the pitch-money tracker keeps the list of who owes for the pitch and who's paid; it doesn't track fines, so keep the fines kitty in a note or a pinned message. Squadcard never takes or moves any money either way.

Squadcard can help with the biggest fine on the list, too: players say they're in or out from a link, there's a waiting list when the game is full, and everyone can see who's said yes.

Another way to keep the group chat busy between games: last man standing, the pick-a-winner game, played for bragging rights.

Start a squad

Questions

What are football fines?

Small amounts players pay into a team kitty for things like turning up late, missing an open goal or forgetting the bibs. It's a running joke more than a punishment, and the money usually pays for the end-of-season night.

How much should football fines be?

Small enough that nobody minds: 50p or £1 is common, with the fine for saying you're in and not turning up the biggest. A weekly cap stops one bad night getting expensive.

What should a football fines kitty be spent on?

Something for the whole group, agreed at the start: the end-of-season night and trophies, a new ball, bibs, or a week's pitch hire.

Can Squadcard track fines?

No. Squadcard's pitch-money tracker keeps the list of who owes for the pitch and who's paid. Keep fines in a note or a pinned message. Squadcard never takes or moves money.